Who’s your best friend?


I think most people could answer that pretty quickly. But, in all honesty, I couldn’t.

There have been many people in my life with whom I’ve had some kind of connection. I’ve never really considered anyone an enemy, and I suppose most of the people I’ve met have turned out to be mainly acquaintances.

But there are several folks with whom I really enjoy hanging out, conversing, laughing, and (almost certainly) drinking.

So I thought about it, and if someone asked me, “Who’s your best friend?” I’d answer, “I really don’t know.”

Then this dude whips out a pistol, cocks it, and shoves it against my temple. “Now, you son of a bitch,” he hisses, “I’m gonna ask you one more time.  Who’s your best friend?  You got to three. One…”



“Okay. I have male friends. They all have positive qualities that I admire, but I wouldn’t say any of them are any better than any other. They’re just good people for different reasons.  Same goes for my female friends. So if you could take each and every quality that I admire from the males, and do some kind of sci-fi thing where you combine them into one man, and do the same thing with the females, and have those two mate, their baby would be my best friend.”

The dude would relax and pull the gun away. A profound look would cross his face, and he’d say, “That’s beautiful, man.”

Then he’d leave, weeping and forever changed.