More from OKCupid’s “Y’all Got Issues” section, in which answers to questions are compared.

P.S. On that last one, I do a pretty good Flipper impression.


What is the most exciting thing about getting to know someone new?

Her: Discovering their body

Me: Discovering your shared interests


Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)?

Her: Yes, no matter what

Me: No, it’s not necessary


Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background?

Her: Yes

Me: No


Do you Google someone before a first date?

Her: Yes. Knowledge is power!

Me: No. Why spoil the mystery?


If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find?

Her: No.

Me: Maybe a little bit.


Are you an aspiring actor/artist/writer or other creative type?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship?

Her: Someone to come home to

Me: Someone to go out with


Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?

Her: No

Me: Yes


If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?

Her: Wealth

Me: Expression


Could you date someone who was really quiet?

Her: Yes

Me: No


What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _

Her: Don’t know / don’t care

Me: 46


How do you feel about falling in love?

Her: I love it and want it very much

Me: like to just let it happen


Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Upon first meeting, would you be most attracted to a person who:

Her: Exudes overt sexuality

Me: Is witty and charming


Do you enjoy playing board games?

Her: Nope – Won’t play them

Me: Yes – A lot


Do you think it is possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid moral framework by which to live?

Her: No.

Me: Yes.


If you meet someone and they are everything you are looking for, except their body type, do you give them a chance?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Would you prefer that your partner be universally attractive (meaning that many people found them attractive) or uniquely attractive (meaning that they fit YOUR standards, but not necessarily anyone else’s)?

Her: Universally Attractive.

Me: Uniquely Attractive.


Is VERY short hair on a girl necessarily unattractive?

Her: Yes

Me: No


Which, on you, is closest to perfection?

Her: My body

Me: My mind


Do superficial people, who place a high emphasis on physical appearance, annoy you?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Would you prefer to be a financial success or to remain true to your principles?

Her: Financial success, please.

Me: I’ll stick with my principles, thanks.


How important is it that your partner be willing and able to participate in meaningful philosophical conversations?

Her: Not at all important.

Me: Extremely important.


Do you believe that money can buy happiness?

Her: Yes.

Me: No.


Men who wax their chests are…

Her: SEXY!

Me: I don’t care.


Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other?

Her: Yes

Me: No


Do you like to argue?

Her: Yes

Me: No


What’s worse on a first date?

Her: No physical attraction

Me: Nothing to talk about


Have you ever taken a break while at work to “play” with yourself ?

Her: Yes

Me: No


Do you spend more money on clothes or food?

Her: Clothes

Me: Food


In the line “Wherefore art thou Romeo?,” what does “wherefore” mean?

Her: Who cares / wtf?

Me: Where


Which word describes you better?

Her: Intense

Me: Carefree


Do spelling mistakes annoy you?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Which superpower would you rather have?

Her: Invisibility

Me: Flight


Are you quick to trust until proven wrong or more slow to trust until worth is proven?

Her: Slow to trust, until worth is proven.

Me: Quick to trust, until proven wrong.


Do you often find yourself worrying about things that you have no control over?

Her: Yes

Me: No


Is art important to you?

Her: No

Me: Yes


Would you consider having sex in a graveyard?

Her: No.

Me: Yes, but only with the living.


While in the middle of the best lovemaking of your life, if your lover asked you to squeal like a dolphin, would you?

Her: No way.

Me: The best? Maybe…