I’m in an ornery mood, so here are some movie spoilers (read at your own risk):


SOYLENT GREEN: It’s people.

CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a sled.

THE SIXTH SENSE: Bruce Willis is dead people.

SE7EN: Gywneth’s head is in the box.

THE CRYING GAME: The chick is a dude.

THE USUAL SUSPECTS: Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze.

PSYCHO: Norman is also his mother, figuratively.

WILD THINGS: Neve Campbell outwits everybody.

ARLINGTON ROAD: Tim Robbins is a terrorist.

WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?: George and Martha’s son isn’t real.

FRIDAY THE 13TH: Mrs. Vorhees is the killer.

THE VILLAGE: It’s set in modern times.

APRIL FOOL’S DAY: All the “killings” are an elaborate joke.

SLEEPAWAY CAMP: The chick is a dude.

THE PRESTIGE: Christian Bale has a twin brother.

FIGHT CLUB: Tyler Durden and the narrator are the same person.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Darth Vader is Luke’s father.

SAW: Jigsaw is the “dead” guy on the floor.

PLANET OF THE APES: They’re really on Earth.

TITANIC: Leonardo dies.

SCREAM:  Billy and Stuart are the killers.

THE WICKER MAN:  Sgt. Howie gets sacrificed.

NOW YOU SEE ME:  Mark Ruffalo is the mastermind.

LOVE STORY:  Ali McGraw dies.

OLD YELLER:  The kid shoots the dog.