These are two of my favorite songs I did in the act.  Unfortunately, they were topical and I had to eventually ditch them.

 

(To the tune of “The Battle of New Orleans”)

In nineteen-ninety-four, O.J. thought he’d slip

Off to Chicago for a little golfin’ trip

But they brought him back to Brentwood and he got all depressed

‘Cuz they’d found his ex-wife lyin’ in a bloody mess

Later on, Al Cowlings went for a ride

In a white Ford Bronco with O.J. at his side

Goin’ forty miles an hour with the cops on their tail

When they finally pulled ‘em over, they threw ‘em into jail

Well, they held up their hands, but the blows kept a-comin’

He cut ‘em up good, and that wasn’t very nice

But the jury sent a message and they let go O.J.

Everybody calls him “juice,” But they oughta call him “Slice”

 

(To the tune of “The Ballad of Davy Crockett”)

Down in a compound in old Waco

God said, “we’re gonna put on a show

“Grab yer guns, get ready to go,

“If folks give ya shit, gonna send ‘em down below”

Davy, Davy Koresh

Jesus Christ to his friends

“Stockpile weapons ‘till you’re armed to the teeth

“Get gals pregnant when they’re only fourteen

“Get in the headlines, make a scene

“Gonna go up in a blaze o’ kerosene”

Davy, Davy Koresh

Whacked-out son of a bitch

 

BONUS: Wrote, but after I’d “retired,” and never performed onstage –

(To the tune of “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”)

The leader of the free world caught with his pants down

That scumbag kept a chunky intern hangin’ round

She wore a beret to show she had some style

And Linda Tripp sat back and laughed all the while

Now Ken Starr’s got a thick report

And Bill’s got an angry wife

I hope he got the blowjob of his life

He went before the jury and still did not confess

Even though the intern had his spooge stain on her dress

Any moron knows that it’s never very wise

To get someone who’s not your spouse between your thighs

Now Ken Starr’s got a thick report

And Bill’s got an angry wife

I hope he got the blowjob of his life