I got an A on this sonnet in creative writing in college.  I’m sure my girlfriend at the time, later to be my ex-wife, played a big part in it.


She said, “Don’t muss your shirt, it won’t look right,
“And fix your pants, your knees both look like knobs.
“Make sure your tie is straight, and nice and tight,
“I don’t want them to think that you’re a slob.

“Come on! The party starts at half-past eight,
“Go start the car! You men are slow to learn.
“Speed up! It’s quarter-past, and we’ll be late,
“Slow down! I think you just passed by our turn.”

And so her voice pecked on, and on some more,
And as I drove, my brain clicked out a scheme.
So I reached over, opened up her door,
And shoved her out. (She scarce had time to scream.)

And as she disappeared into the night,
I said, “Don’t muss your dress, it won’t look right.”