Two musicians, a drummer and a guitar player, are onstage, each equipped with his instrument. They’re wearing extreme punk garb and have British accents. A plainly-dressed guitarist enters.
Nick: Hey, guys, I’m Nick. I’m here for the audition.
Guitar player (GP): Nick. That’s a wanker name.
Drummer (D): Yeah. You a wanker, Nick?
Nick: Whoa, no.
D: He looks like a poseur, don’t he?
GP: Yeah. You a poseur, Nick?
Nick: I’m just here to audition. Is this a country band? The ad said country.
GP: Do we look like bumpkins, Nick?
D: Yeah. Do we look like bumpkins?
Nick: Look, if this isn’t a country band and you’re just going to be insulting, I’m leaving. (He starts to go.)
GP: Hang on, mate. You seem a bit agitated.
D: Yeah. Pissed off at the world.
Nick: Well, you’re starting to get on my nerves.
GP: Good. We want you nice and riled.
D: Raging against everything.
Nick: I don’t get it.
GP: You see, Nick, we ARE a country band. With a…
GP and D: PUNK ATTITUDE!
They snarl and hiss at Nick.
Nick: You mean like cowpunk?
GP: Cowpunk. (He spits on the floor)
D: Don’t be a git, Nick.
Nick: Look, I don’t know what this is all about, but I’m here, so let’s just jam, okay? You know “Your Cheatin’ Heart”?
GP and D: Sure.
They launch into a twangy version of the song. GP and D are headbanging, jumping around, etc. Nick just sighs and rolls his eyes.
THE END