Jotted down this idea some time ago, just wrote recently.  Probably still need some work. 


A Cub Scout meeting.  A small group of scouts, in uniform, is sitting around an adult male, also in scout garb.


MR. DAVIS:  Good evening, Cub scouts.  My name’s Mr. Davis, and I’m the counselor for the First Aid merit badge for the Boy Scouts.  I want us to take a little time tonight to talk about first aid.  Does anyone know what “first aid” means?

SCOUT #1:  Is it an aide to the president?  Like, a guy that helps him out?  His first aide?

MR. DAVIS:  No.  Think…injuries.

SCOUT #2:  Is it like when you first get AIDS?

MR. DAVIS:  No.  And that’s not technically an injury, it’s an illness.

SCOUT #3:  Is it the first-response treatment you give to someone who’s just suffered an injury?

MR. DAVIS:  Yes.  That’s exactly it.  Now, let’s say you’re walking home from school with your friend.  He slips on the ice and falls on his arm.  His arm is bent and he’s yelling in pain.  What’s the first thing you should do?

SCOUT #4: Laugh.  (The group titters)

SCOUT #5: Take a video on your phone and put it on YouTube. (The group titters even more)

MR. DAVIS: No.  If you have a phone, you should call 911 immediately and request that an ambulance be sent to your location.  Now think about how you can help him right there.

SCOUT #1: I’d sing him a song to calm him down.

SCOUT #2:  I’d tell him to stop yelling before I hit him and hurt him more.

SCOUT #5:  I’d run away real fast.  Yelling people scare me. (The group chuckles again.)

MR. DAVIS:  No, no.  He broke his arm.  He’s your friend.  You want to help him.

SCOUT #3:  I’d make him as comfortable as possible, then find the nearest house and borrow some strong tape, and a thick newspaper or wooden plank of some kind.  Then I’d carefully tape the newspaper or plank around the area of the break.

MR. DAVIS:  Excellent!  That’s exactly what you do.  Also, you should elevate the arm above the heart…(he pauses, his cell phone vibrating in his pocket.  He pulls it out and checks it.)  Sorry, scouts, I have to take this.   It’ll only be a second. (On phone) What do you want?  I’m teaching a scout meeting.  What?  When?  I’ll be right there. (Hangs up phone) Scouts, I’m sorry, but I have a family emergency and have to leave.  We can finish this another night. (He gets up and heads to the door, but slips, and falls on his arm.) Oww!  Oww!  My arm!

SCOUT #3: Chill out, guys (stands up and pulls a roll of duct tape, a thick newspaper, and a ruler from his back pants pockets).  I got this.