Sometimes I wish I were gay.  Don’t get me wrong, I love women, but y’all can make life way more difficult than it needs to be.  Here’s a typical online chat between a man and woman in a relationship, both at their respective places of employment:

MAN: Can you pick up my suit?  It’s $50, and they only take cash

WOMAN: Why don’t they take credit cards?  I don’t think that’s legal.  They should take credit cards

MAN: I don’t know.  They just take cash

WOMAN: Well that’s stupid.  I only have $40 right now and Janie and me are going out for lunch.  Do you remember Janie?  She was at Steve’s party.  I might be able to go to the ATM on Hamilton Street but that’s kind of far away

MAN: Are you picking up my suit?

WOMAN: Well I got out of my car this morning and I noticed the tire was kind of low.  I had a few people come out and look at it and they said I should get it checked out

MAN: I just called and it’s not ready.  Forget it

Ya gotta ditch on that conversation.  It’s going nowhere.

The same chat sequence if you’re gay:

MAN: Can you pick up my suit?

OTHER MAN: Sure.  Blowjobs later?

MAN: Great

Conversation over.  You get the suit AND the blowjob.  It’s win-win.

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