In the 2009 movie Big Fan, Patton Oswalt plays Paul, a huge New York Giants fan.  Paul has a mundane job and lives in an apartment with his annoyed mother; his creative outlet is calling a local late-night radio sports talk program and enthusiastically going on about the Giants and how they’re going to kick ass in upcoming games.

But there’s another regular caller — Philadelphia Phil (Michael Rapaport).  Phil’s an Eagles fan, and takes great delight in calling the New York-based show just to stir up trouble.  He does nothing but bash the Giants and taunt their fans, which really agitates Paul.

Without giving too much of the movie away: Paul eventually tracks down Phil and confronts him in person.  The scene ends with Phil terrified and Paul, in tears, saying, “why do you have to be so MEAN?”

I guess I’ve never understood the Phil types: those who feel the need to shit all over something they don’t like.  They’ve always been around, but the vast wasteland of the Internet has made them much more noticeable.

YouTube is probably the most obvious site.  Example: I like the female comedy/music duo Garfunkel and Oates (I admit I’m in love with Kate Micucci).  But look at the comments on any of their videos.  So much hate, and going by usernames, mostly from men.  Why so threatened, fellas?

I can understand if you’re passionate about a political cause, or a medical cause, or something that may actually matter in the big scheme of things.  A particular government ruling keeping you down as an individual?  Sure, bash it.  Local authorities kicking in your door for no reason, or polluting your water supply?  Rail away.  Can’t afford the medication you need because the pharmaceutical companies are reaming you?  Have at it.

But entertainment or sports?  Like what you like, gush about it all you want.  But why go out of your way to harshly criticize a movie, TV show, recording artist, sports team, etc. just because it doesn’t meet your particular subjective standards?  You just want negative attention.  I mean, I’m not a Justin Bieber fan, but I wouldn’t go to a fan site and crap on him just to troll.  That’s asinine.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don’t be a Philadelphia Phil.  You just look bitter, jealous, and like you have way too much misguided-anger time on your hands.